Thoughts scribbled on virtual paper

I am crossing my fingers and saying prayers for the next job…

Retail spat me out even if I loved it. Ish.
Let’s see how writing turns out…

Editorial assistant for a certain magazine………….

I am praying.
Hard.

love-yourlove:

And you get that goofy grin on your face. You half want it to go away, but half of you loves that something can make you so happy.

fiddlesticksandcustard:

We had a substitute for Math because my actual teacher had personal business to attend to. We weren’t doing much, just some little project, and today it was storming in Texas. So this enormous clap of thunder shakes the walls and everybody starts screaming. Then I look over at the teacher’s desk to see our substitute standing up from his chair and shouting, “Shut up Thor! Loki isn’t here!”

LOKI ISN’T HERE.

We became best friends after that, obviously.

not to be too crazy.

Seeing things from a very objective point of view made me realize what happened and why they happened.

Too much of anything is not a good thing. at all.
I knew a psycho who said “too much love is a great thing cause you can never get enough”

I disagree. People grow on their own. SPACE is a must. Putting things in right amounts and at a necessary pace is the key.

Don’t scare me with an engagement; saw the hulk in you.
Walked on egg shells. Impracticality showed itself too often.
If I was really important, compromise would’ve happened.
Impossible. Lacked intellectual conversations. I don’t like being spoiled.
Played the pity card. It’s very stupid to say “I have no more pride in myself just for you”.

No privacy. All online accounts hacked. Cellphone checked daily, every message and call. Unknown numbers were taken note of. If I don’t reply in 5-10 minutes, I get scolded. Can’t stay in the ladies room too long or I will be questioned, cellphone will be checked (again).

Paranoia kills relationships.
Paranoia drives people insane.

ALWAYS MY FAULT.
Work ended late = my fault.
Late delivery = my fault.
My bra strap was accidentally seen = never wear the shirt/top again. My fault.
I forgot to chip in for gas = my fault (nothing wrong with reminding).

Forced to write tumblr entries about happy relationship…
Not allowed to wear heels.
Heavy dinner out after work = crazy weight gain

Omg
One time I walked away from an argument… I was warned, “one more time you walk away, I’m breaking my iPhone”. Me: “that’s stupid”. Him: “tangina ang yabang mo, your pride is so high! Go home na nga!” then I walk away… To my house.

*sound of an iPhone hitting asphalt*

shit. Seriously. :|

I paid 3/4 of the price of his iPhone 4.
Goodbye salary :|

So yeah, ooooh wait,
Blackmailing me to my family! How could I forget.
Thanks.

I’ve never said a word.
Until now. And these are just tiny tiny examples… Nothing major, nothing about your family.

I lied to you that one and only night because you didn’t allow me to break up with you.
You begged for another chance but I was already gone.
No, not gone as in sleeping with someone else like you expected me to be. Gone as in dead end.

4 months.
It was crazy and not in a good way.
Co workers made fun of me although it didn’t matter, I stuck with it. (so happy I’m outta that place)
Could’ve walked home but no, dinner out was a must. Actually I liked that part but I also found it impractical cause I had food at home anyway. Tying to save up here.
The concert tickets to Avril and Mraz… I enjoyed very much… Mraz’s was planned, Avril’s was a peace offering.

I lied that night because I wanted to be with my workmates. With sane people.
Untrusting you went to my house, woke up everyone.
Miguel dropped me off but for his safety and yours, my mom and I told him to go somewhere else and let his driver drop me off at my house, where you were ready to kill.

You’re wrong about him. Very wrong about many things, definitely needed to grow up. Same shit with me.

So really.
I’m not a slut like what people are saying.
If former team mates or former “friends” talk, it’s to save themselves. I’m the culprit and cause of their hatred. Hay, I wasn’t a competition. I was inspired by one then used by another. Why? Because inspiration left for good and it hurt.

It’s scary not having closure.
You’re left hanging. Opening doors for mr. Awkward.
Haunted by what if’s.

People talk.
Talk so loud then believe in talk more than what they actually know.
It’s crazy.
Like what I went through.

This entire May I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and analyzing Zara and that relationship.
I moved on, fast. In both areas.

I don’t like wasting time.